


One For The Road

by tigerfishy



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Arin and Suzy are good cheerleaders, Comeplay, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Game Grumps Big Bang, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Pining, Road Trips, Roommates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-07-19 23:23:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7381663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerfishy/pseuds/tigerfishy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s five in the morning when they set out, all piled into Dan’s beaten up Toyota Corolla, sharing leg room with their luggage. What had originally started out as a trip to get to his sister’s wedding had quickly become more about seeing as many tourist traps and giant balls of stamps as possible. It’s not the backdrop he would have picked for falling in love with his best friend, but it doesn’t seem like he’s getting a choice in the matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One for the Road

**Author's Note:**

> This took up an embarrassing amount of my time, but I'm glad I finally get to share it with all of you! 
> 
> Huge (HUGE) undying thanks to lukalunar and trash-lovely on tumblr for their amazing artwork for this fic, and to commanderflaps for the awesome playlist. All the pieces are amazing and you should absolutely check out their work, because they're very talented people. 
> 
> I'll also be uploading a podfic version of this fic shortly, so look out for that!

 

 

Listen to the playlist for this fic [here](http://8tracks.com/humankites/for-your-dirty-hippie-aesthetic-a-rubberbang-mix) (Made by the lovely and talented[ commanderflaps](http://commanderflaps.tumblr.com/)) 

 

 

 

 

[Cover by Lukalunar ](http://lukalunar.tumblr.com/post/147018937568/one-for-the-road-tigerfishy-x-its-five-in)

 

 

_Good morning California! We’re looking at a balmy 85 today, perfect for everyone getting off school this week. Coming up is an oldie, P-_

Dan swats the snooze button of his alarm clock, groaning.  His head is pounding, and it feels like he’s swallowed all the sand in LA if the burn in his throat is anything to go by. Is he hungover? No, he isn’t much of a drinker, not unless someone’s been sneaking something into his diet coke.  Willing his eyes open, his alarm blinks back his answer; it’s 5 in the morning, he’d only gotten a couple hours of sleep. He can hear his roommate pacing around in the front room. Clearly, he’s been up longer than Dan. Still the allure of falling back into his pillows is almost irresistible, five more minutes could do him a world of good.

 

“Dan! Up! Now!” Ross comes bursting in, swinging the door wide open.  Dan moans theatrically, sandwiching his head in his pillow. In a mere moment, the wind is knocked out of him and Ross is srawled out over his bed.

“Fuck, Ross, you’re so boney dude” Dan complains, attempting to free himself. Ross grins, digging his elbows into Dan’s side, delighted at the graceless squawk it earns him.

“You know lots of guys would be thrilled to be in your position” Ross teases, letting Dan struggle out from beneath him and onto his feet.  “You should feel privileged” He grins wide, clearly the lack of sleep hasn’t put a damper on his sense of humour.  Dan rolls his eyes, pulling on a pair of jeans he’d tossed on his floor the previous night.

“I’m sure there’s a long line of dudes outside chomping at the bit to get a taste of your sharp fucking elbows. Go send them off while I get dressed” He deadpans, waving the other man off. Ross opens his mouth like he was about to say something, but seems to think better of it, and left Dan to make himself less gross.

The shirt he chose was wrinkled and could probably stand to be washed, but it got the job done. Normally he’d make more of an effort, at very least make sure his clothing was clean, but given the circumstances he can’t bring himself to care. He pauses briefly to slap on some deodorant- a favour to his friends. He finds his suitcase in the corner of his room, unzipped and brimming with all the junk he’d stuffed in it. On the top laid the suit he’d rented-covered in plastic and still on the hanger. He hesitates for a moment, but shoves it into the bag until he can zip it shut.

His sister is getting married, and though she probably won’t be thrilled by the cheap and wrinkled attire he’ll be showing up in, he was still excited to finally see her.  He’d moved out to LA two years ago for university, and given that working a constantly rotating roster of fast food and retail jobs doesn’t leave much spending money after rent, he hadn’t been back to Jersey since. Finally getting out of the state would be a much needed break, and his friends seemed to agree.

 A plus-one normally covers just one person, it’s in the title, but Arin and Suzy had managed to coax his sister into letting them attend, with the promise of Suzy’s excellent organizational skills in exchange.

Ross had moved into their shitty dorm halfway through the semester, his thick Australian accent fading almost entirely in a matter of months. While at first Dan had been irritated with the prospect of having to share the already tiny space, they’d managed to find common ground over art, music, and video games. He wasn’t a perfect roommate, and he seemed to delight in Dan’s suffering, but somehow he’d grown fond of him.

One night, Dan had found Ross crouched in the living room over a shoebox, thinly veiled panic in his eyes. He was cooing softly, filling an eyedropper with something.

“It flew into the window” Ross had whispered softly, gesturing to the injured robin, stroking it gently as he could in an attempt at comfort. They’d stayed up all night nursing the bird back to health, determining it was just in shock when it sprung up with the sun. Ross had to hold it back to keep it from flying right into the window again. He’d named it Honeybun. They’d watched it fly off together that morning. It didn’t linger or look back in thanks or anything poetic, but it still felt special. He’d noticed Ross holding his hand as it flew away. They were exhausted, but happy. They’d stayed home that day to rest, turning on some shitty film and tossing their haggard bodies onto the couch, slipping in and out of consciousness.   

 It was possible he’d grown something more than fond of Ross.  

He’d started noticing the hookups he brought home in the middle of the night, reeking of beer and sweat from the bar. They’d leave the house early in the morning with satisfied grins and a handful of Dan’s aspirin. He’d tried to tell himself the twist he felt in his stomach wasn’t jealousy, just a guy looking out for his buddy. He knew that green was an ugly colour on him.

The feelings were better left stuffed down as deep as they would go, never acting on or speaking about them. Things were easier that way, friendship is just as good, even if you don’t get to run your hands through their hair or feel their lips on yours or-

Friendship is just as good.

Ross, having been in the country for less than a year, had quickly agreed to attend as Dan’s plus one, more excited at the prospect of a road trip than the wedding itself.  His enthusiasm was catching, and soon the mission became less about seeing Dan’s only sister get married, and more about seeing as many silos painted to look like soda cans as they could pack in.

Pounding on the door snaps Dan out of his thoughts, and he scrambles up with his suitcase to join Ross in the front. He claps the younger man on the shoulder, grinning as Ross rolls his eyes in response. “Took you long enough” Ross mutters, tossing Dan his jacket. Dan catches himself staring as they leave the house, switching off the lights behind them.

“Sorry, we were running late!” Suzy apologizes as she and Arin slide into the backseat of Dan’s beat up old Toyota Corolla. She thrusts two thin binders towards the men in the front. “The itinerary” She explains.

“You printed out an itinerary for a road trip?” Dan takes the binder in disbelief, flipping through it quickly. Suzy had planned out meals, pit stops, roadside attractions-everything, down to the minute. There was no way they’d be able to do all of this, but it’s nice to have anyway. Suzy shrugs, shifting in her seat to let Arin buckle himself in.

“Someone had to do it” She replies. Arin rolls his eyes, nudging Suzy’s shoulder.

“Literally no one had to do it, but shit if you didn’t do the fuck out of it” He teases, kissing her on the nose. Ross makes a gagging noise at the display of affection, causing Arin to go in for a much sloppier, much grosser kiss.  Dan laughs, tucking Suzy’s planner into the side of his seat.

“Alright you crazy kids, don’t choke on each other’s tongues back there” He warns before starting up the car, which produces a rather worrying whine in response. Ross looks over, alarmed. Dan shrugs. “It does that sometimes, she’s in her golden years. It’ll stop in a while, you can put on some music if it bothers you” he dismisses, pulling out onto the street.

Bickering over their rather limited radio options got old quickly, and while it wasn’t everyone’s first choice, they all seem content enough with the Zeppelin C.D Arin had angry shoved into the stereo ten minutes in. Dan had forgotten he owned it, it must have been stuck in the backseat for months. Despite the spirited banter they’d exchanged when they’d first met up, the early start and lack of sleep seemed to be taking a toll on everyone, and quickly the idea of road games were abandoned for quietly checking their phones and drifting in and out of consciousness.  

They’d been on the road for a few hours, Dan doing his best to fight the urge to nod off with everyone else.  Ross was snoring softly, head mashed firmly into the glass of the passenger window. His car rattled like the engine was going to drop out on the road, and the blazing California sun was making him wish dearly he’d paid to get the a/c fixed, but it was peaceful. It made him wish they were driving through back roads at sunset instead of the sparse landscape of oil rigs and the occasional fast food place. He hears Arin choke abruptly, coughing himself awake. Dan laughs, glancing back to see the other man picking Suzy’s hair out of his mouth.

“Welcome back to the land of the waking sleeping beauty”

“Don’t be jealous just because you have to drive” Arin shoots back, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “What time is it?” He asks, wiggling his way out of Suzy’s tight embrace so he can sit straight up.

“Like 7:00, probably stop soon to get some breakfast”

Arin nodded, resting his head on the side of the car and gazing out the window. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. 

“Hey man, can I ask you something?”

Dan’s heart speeds up for a moment; that was an opener that never led to anything good. Still, he nods, mustering a smile. “Yeah dude, of course.”

“Does it bother you?”

“What?”

“Dana, I mean. Getting married, and attending the wedding with... you know” He gestures towards Ross’s sleeping form.

“I’m happy for my baby sister Arin, why would it bother me?” he purposefully ignores the second half of the question. Arin is the only one he’s told about his less than platonic feelings for his roommate, trusting him to keep it quiet. He thought he’d feel better having let it out to someone, but clearly it was coming to bite him in the ass now. He raises an eyebrow in warning to the other man, before realizing he couldn’t see the motion anyway.

Arin bites his lip, as if trying to find the right words. It’s worryingly uncharacteristic of a man who normally just says whatever’s on his mind-for better or for worse. “It’s just, she’s younger than you right? You’ve gotta feel kinda like, y’know, and with him...” He trails off, realizing a small car might not be the best place to have this conversation. Dan sighs, scanning the road signs for the next truck stop.

“I know man, I’m fine” He mumbles curtly. “Wake Scuze up, we better get breakfast, then you’re driving”

 The chance to stretch his legs is more than welcome, almost instantly putting him in a better mood. He feeds the pump some cash and stands quietly as he fills the tank, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. Should his sister getting married bother him? She _is_ much younger, and he isn’t anywhere close to so much as thinking about marriage. On some level, he probably does envy her for finding someone so early in her life, but he’s chosen to feel happy for her. She’s his baby sister after all, and if she’s found some guy that made her happy enough to put up with him for the rest of her life, that was pretty fucking cool. Maybe that’s what he actually envied; finding someone you liked so much you wanted to fall asleep next to them every night for the rest of your life.  

A head on his shoulder snaps him out of his thoughts. Ross mumbles something unintelligible, eyes heavy with sleep. Dan eyes him, unable to suppress a grin. He slides away, replacing the nozzle at the pump. “Not so awake now are we O’Donovan?” He teases, ignoring the defensive grumble Ross produces in response. “Come on man, let’s go get some shitty coffee”.

They join Arin and Suzy in the diner attached to the gas station. They seem to be having a fairly spirited conversation for just having woken up. He plops himself down next to Arin, both sets of eyes turning to him as the couple goes quiet.

“Woah, what did I do” He asks, suddenly nervous.

“Our first stop is a ghost town” Suzy explains, handing Dan the map she’d glued into the cover of her itinerary. “It’s supposed to be haunted” She adds excitedly. At least that explains why she’d put it on the schedule, she’s a sucker for that kind of thing. He glances at it. It’s in the general direction they’d be driving in anyway. What the problem? He raises an eyebrow at her, and Arin rushes to explain.

“You’re kind of a baby dude”

Suzy scoffs and hits him, but looks back at Dan sheepishly.

“Those aren’t the words I’d use but, he’s not wrong, you’re not great with spooky stuff “

He snorts, waving off the accusations. They aren’t wrong, he’s ended up with his face firmly planted in a pillow by the end of every horror film they’d ever watched, but he was also an adult who could handle himself in the real world.

“I ain’t afraid of no ghost” he grins, handing the planner back to Suzy. Arin snorts at the bad joke but shrugs. The couple makes eye contact, seeming to have a conversation without any words. It would be pretty cool if it didn’t creep him out so much. Eventually Suzy sighs, a small smile creeping onto her face.

“If you say so”

A pretty waitress comes to take their orders, passing out water and coffee to start. Dan had been correct earlier about the quality, the coffee was like drinking mud, but he’s too sleepy to say no to caffeine in any form. Ross seems to have bounced back again, and is excitedly going over the attractions Suzy has planned out for them. She smiles and nods patiently, like a mother listening to an overeager child. He looks up at Dan with wide eyes.

“You never told me how many giant versions of things there were just sitting in the ditch” He accuses, almost sounding genuinely hurt. Dan doesn’t get a chance to respond beyond laughter before the waitress brings out their food.

His hotcakes are surprisingly edible, but no one else seems to have such luck. Well, he isn’t sure that Ross’s complaints about the quality of his french toast are genuine, considering how quickly it disappears, but Arin and Suzy barely put a dent in their breakfasts, instead opting to dig a couple granola bars out of Suzy’s purse. 

“You can stomach Waffle House but you can’t do truck stop food?” he teases. “This is part of the quintessential road trip experience” He explains, picking at Suzy’s soggy toast from across the table. She wrinkles her nose, pushing her plate towards Dan.

“By all means, have as much of my “quintessential” experience as you want”

Dan decides to shut up, wiping the grease off on his shirt.

Once they’re all fed and paid up, they wander outside. The sun has long since risen, and you could now firmly call it the morning. Were they still in L.A, it would have been rush hour. Instead of thousands of cars filled with angry people, there’s a small lake by the run down gas bar. Dandelions and other greenery bloomed unchecked, no one but a few ducks hanging around to complain about it.

He watches quietly as Ross approaches the lake, crouching down to pick a flower as the ducks swims up to him with clear interest. He tucks the dandelion behind his ear, watching the birds quietly.

“Suzy probably saved her toast from breakfast” Dan suggests quietly. Ross looks at him as if he hadn’t realized he was there, frowning.

“Bread isn’t good for ducks, it messes up their immune systems”

“No way dude, I used to go feed the ducks in the park all the time” Dan argues, though he isn’t sure why. The way Ross winces at the comment makes a wave of guilt crash through him.

Ross pulls out a bag of trail mix from his bunnyhug, waving him over. Dan joins him hesitantly, crouching down by the lake.

“This isn’t the best for them either, but dried fruit is probably okay” Ross informs him, holding out a handful of cranberries and raisins. Dan takes them after a moment, watching as the other man tosses fruit into the water.  

“Where did you learn about birds dude?” He asks, watching a duck gobble up a cranberry. It looks at Dan expectantly, and he throws another, forever eager to please. Ross smiles, his entire face lighting up for a moment.

“Good friend of mine really likes them. You’d like her, you’ve got a lot in common” He answers quietly, turning to the other man. He looks at Dan with meaning that he can’t quite understand, but which makes his heart beat just a little faster. Were Ross’s eyes always this blue?  He’s so close, just inches away from his face, he could just lean forward and-

“Yo, we gotta get going” Arin bellows, gesturing towards the car. Dan curses him internally, but gets up anyway, offering a hand to Ross. He accepts it gratefully, and pulls the flower out from behind his ear. He tucks it carefully into Dan’s hair, smiling at his work when he’s done.

“It completes the dirty hippy look” He explains, turning to join the others. Dan has to take a moment to catch his breath before following.

 

The ghost town is only a few miles away, but Dan is still glad Arin is driving. He seems to understand Suzy’s instructions perfectly, and navigates with ease. He’s pretty certain he would have gotten lost right away, turning a short drive into an hour long frustration. That must be what happens when you’re with someone for long enough, you can understand their vague instructions they give while reading a road map to you.

It’s a clear tourist trap, the man who takes their admission is dressed in full western garb, but Suzy seems excited, and it’s a bit infectious. No one else appears to be visiting, or at least, there are no other cars in what passes as a parking lot. Arin parks under a tree, in the shade.

“Okay guys, if you can’t tell us apart from everyone else, remember, we’re the car with the rusted out hubcaps” Arin laughs a little too loudly at his own joke, barely registering the slap on the arm from Dan it earns him. Suzy seems to bounce out of the car, taking her boyfriend’s hand in her own.

“Church first” She instructs, pointing to the only building sporting a large, and somewhat shockingly well maintained cross in the middle of the town. Arin laughs, but follows without complaint, winking at Dan as he’s swept away by the hurricane that is Suzy Berhow.  Ross is already wandering off to what appears to be a post office, though there’s really no telling with how decrepit everything is.  Dan remembers what Suzy had said in the diner. He’d scoffed then but, though he’d never admit it to her, the place is giving him the creeps. He decides to run after Ross. So he could be his American tour guide, not because he’s scared. That would be ridiculous.

“Are dusty old mining towns just hanging out in America?” Ross asks, turning to see Dan joining him. Dan shrugs, tapping the dirt off his shoes as they enter the decaying building. It’s pointless of course, the stench of rot is pungent even from the doorway, but he feels compelled anyway.

“I guess, no one ever bothered to do anything with the land. Most of them are shitty tourist attractions like this now.” He knocks on the wall, shaking free a cloud of dust.

Ross hoists himself over the counter, landing on the creaky wooden floor with a thud. Dan watches silently as he starts browsing through the shelves and cupboards, searching for something of interest. His small smile lit of the rest of his face, ice blue eyes glinting in a way that makes Dan forget he’s dressed in jeans too stained to wear to a 7/11 and a ratty bunnyhug that had been left at their place by a drunken acquaintance whose name has slipped their minds. He feels his chest tighten, how long has he been holding his breath?

“I didn’t know old-timey miners had sharpies” Ross laughs, pulling Dan back into reality. He leans over the counter, seeing the wall of graffiti he’s managed to find inside a cupboard. He winces. It may have been a shitty tourist trap, and Dan isn’t known to be the biggest stickler for rules, but the vandalism still looks out of place enough to strike a chord deep inside him. Blame good parenting. Ross however, doesn’t seem to have the same problem, and pulls a marker from his hoodie.

“Dude no, don’t be a dick” Dan warns, clambering up over the counter. Ross grins wide, ignoring Dan’s attempts to wrestle the sharpie from him.

“How do you spell “Avidan”, just one n?”

“Don’t you dare” Dan warns, grappling for the marker.

“Too late” Ross nearly sings, replacing the cap. Dan grits his teeth, annoyance clear on his face, much to Ross’s delight.

“You’re not supposed to write someone else’s name you fucking dick” Dan complains, snatching the marker from Ross. The graffiti reads “Leigh Daniel Avidan was here” in Ross’s messy scrawl, barely legible but enough to make Dan want vengeance. Ross laughs easily as the taller man responds in turn, tagging the small touristy piece of American history with Ross’s name. He hands the marker back to its owner, satisfied. Ross laughs again, sticking the marker into his back pocket. It occurs to Dan a moment too late that he hadn’t so much as come close to winning the exchange.

A deafening crash rings out through the park. Dan yelps, grabbing Ross’s arm tightly enough to make the other man wince. His heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his ribcage. “What was that” He hisses.

“Dude, it was nothing it’s just an o-“ Ross’s explanation is cut off by another crash, startling them both. Dan pulls them down to the ground, crouching behind the counter.

“What the fuck”

“It’s a ghost. It’s a ghost and we’re going to die” Dan stammers, panic rising steadily.

“Don’t be stupid, ghosts aren’t-“ another crash, it was getting closer. “Fuck it’s a ghost and it’s coming to kill us”

Dan’s nails dig into Ross’s arm, pulling him close. He can feel his heart beating in his palms, or is that Ross? Wooden floors creak as the source of the noise seems to get closer. Another crash. Was that groaning? Oh god, they were going to die here, in a shitty tourist trap surrounded by dust and ants. Dan feels Ross wrap an arm around him, squeezing him uncomfortably close. His eyes were blown wide as saucers, clearly trying to remain calm, and failing.

The groaning sounds inches away now. Dan squeezes his eyes shut, not daring to breath.

“ _I am the spirit of butt stuff, and I am here for you Daniel Avidan_ ”

The world stops for a moment as Dan realizes who’s speaking, his fear morphing into something much closer to rage. He springs up from the behind the counter, livid as he lays eyes on the perpetrators. 

“Arin you fucking dick!!” He shouts, waving his hands wildly. The couple breaks into hysterics, wheezing as they try to form a response. For their sake, Dan hopes it’s an apology. He hears Ross snickering from the floor, fear dissipating into amusement. He hauls himself up, leaning on the counter, hand brushing Dan’s. Dan stares in disbelief at the three, mouth hanging open.  Arin approaches him, slapping a hand down on his shoulder.

“I ah- We’re sorry for uh-freaking you out man” He manages between giggles. It’s the least genuine apology Dan had ever received, but he sighs and pats Arin’s hand anyway.

“You’re a fucking asshole and you’re driving for the rest of the day” Dan informs him, a small smile creeping onto his face. Arin seems satisfied enough with that, and when the other two calm down, he leads the group through what remains of the park, exploring the rest of the buildings without much more than mild interest. Ross is the only one who really seems to want to see everything, and the others patiently answer his questions, watching with quiet smiles as he tears through the attraction like a child given too much candy.

Once Ross seems to be satisfied, they return to the car, Suzy whining about having not seen any _real_ ghosts. Arin wraps an arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

“Don’t worry babe, when I buy you a house one day it will be haunted as _fuck_ ” He grins. Suzy laughs, but seems satisfied with the offer. Dan feels his chest tighten at the display of affection, though he isn’t sure why.

Arin reaches for the passenger side door before Dan stops him, raising an eyebrow at the other man. Arin rolls his eyes, but climbs into the driver’s seat. Dan slides into the backseat, pushing Suzy’s luggage deeper under the seat to make room for his long spidery legs. Ross joins him, plopping himself down in the seat next to him. He beams at Dan, shoving Arin’s backpack onto the floor so he can sprawl out. Dan can’t help but smile back.

Since he’s driving, Arin gets to choose the music. The upbeat KPop disk he’d chosen wouldn’t have been Dan’s first pick, but it’s tolerable, and everyone else seems into it. He settles himself, leaning into the back of his seat and letting his mind drift. It’s noon by now, and the sun’s beating down on them at full force. All their windows are rolled down, but the breeze does little to cool them. Ross scoffs as they complain about the heat, a matter of Australian pride Dan assumes, but Dan doesn’t miss him shifting in his seat uncomfortably, leaning out the window just a little too far. Suzy hands out sandwiches from her purse for lunch so they can keep driving, but they’re all silently disappointed that they don’t stop at a gas station with air conditioning.

Normally Dan doesn’t mind the heat, he certainly prefers being warm to being cold, but mixed with his body coming down from his earlier adrenaline rush (thanks for that, Arin) it was making for a potent sedative. His eyelids were becoming heavier, the scenery beginning to blur together. He doesn’t remember when his eyes closed, or when his head dropped back onto the headrest. Nobody felt like waking him up to let him know when he began snoring.

 

[Art by trash-lovely](http://trash-lovely.tumblr.com/)

 

Soft fingers curl around his, a warm weight on his chest. Dan’s eyes blink open slowly, stiff from having been closed so long. There’s breath against his skin, warm and sweet, and it takes him a moment to realize it belongs to Ross. He tenses for a moment, but stays still. Ross’s hair has fallen over his face, his mouth hanging open slightly. He’s nuzzled firmly into Dan’s chest, his seatbelt unbuckled and forgotten.  Ross is holding Dan’s hand, or at least he’s trying his best with the awkward angle, and Dan feels his breath catch.

Suzy clears her throat from the passenger’s seat, a knowing smile painting her lips. Dan looks up at her, his eyes wide with panic. She raises an eyebrow, glancing between the two boys. A silent question. Dan shakes his head, careful not to jostle Ross. Suzy rolls her eyes, nudging Arin and giving him the same look. Arin laughs and glances at the back seat. He smiles at Suzy in a way that tells her everything, and Dan curses them silently. Betrayed once again by couple’s telepathy. Suzy turns back to Dan, a wide grin spreading across her face.  Dan shrugs sheepishly, still reeling from having his crush outed without so much as a word being exchanged. Suzy seems satisfied by his response, and turns back to her phone. Hopefully she isn’t tweeting it out for the world to see.

The steady rise and fall of Ross’s  shoulders tell him he’s still deep in sleep, and Dan silently hopes he stays that way, clinging to Dan and snoring softly. It crosses his mind that it’s probably kind of creepy, kind of desperate that he’s praying Ross never moves, but then again, maybe he _is_ kind of desperate. Ross is his friend, his roommate, and it would be best for everyone if he pushed his feelings far away. That doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy this. It might be the closest he gets.

The moment however, cannot last forever. Arin hits a pot hole at full speed before making a sharp turn onto a dirt road. Dan cries out in alarm and Ross is thrown forward into Arin’s seat, his fingers untangling themselves from the other man’s.  Ross’s grumbling is barely audible over Arin’s guffawing, and soon he’s seated in his own seat, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and trying to adjust to the sun. If he’s aware of how he’d been sleeping, he doesn’t mention it.

“Arin, what the fuck?” Dan manages

“Sorry man, I was gonna miss the turn off” Arin shrugs, but Dan doesn’t miss the hint of humour in his voice, almost a challenge to call him out.  What’s Dan going to say? _“Hey man, I know you probably just fucked up my car or something, but I’m really pissed you woke up the cute boy that was sleeping on me who I happen to have an inappropriate crush on”._

A cough comes from the front seat, commanding everyone’s attention. Suzy smiles, pulling out her schedule. She looks like a kindergarten teacher about to explain to her students that they should hold hands and stay with the group when they arrive for their field trip. Dan glances out the window for the first time since waking up; realizing somewhat belatedly that the sun is almost setting.

“If you will refer to your itinerary” she eyes the two men in the back seat. Neither makes any move to find where they’d stuffed the aforementioned planners. Suzy sighs before continuing. “The cabin we’ve booked for tonight is attached to a hot spring. However-“ she raises her voice slightly, seeing the men perk up “We didn’t book soaking time because we don’t have seventy bucks to blow on shit like that, we’re just there to sleep and maybe take advantage of some gross showers. If they catch us in the tubs we’re going to have to pay a fee so” she directs her icy gaze towards Ross “do not fuck us over please. We’re all broke enough as is”. Ross pouts as Suzy turns back to her phone, rolling her eyes.

Dan is disappointed for a millisecond before he realizes he hadn’t packed a swimsuit anyway. In any case, it would be nice to sleep in a real bed. His neck already hurt from his nap in the car. A shower probably wouldn’t kill him either, a day of sweating in the backseat didn’t do much to make him smell spring fresh. The road to the hot springs was dusty and filled with pot holes, and Dan winces in sympathy for his poor shocks each time Arin hits one. He quietly watches the barren landscape roll by, nothing but dirt and rocks to paint the horizon. It’s easy to forget they’re only a couple miles off the highway. It almost feels like they’re on an entirely different planet; just them and Dan’s shitty Toyota, driving through the endless Utah countryside.

He barely registers when Arin pulls into the parking lot of the front office, if not for Ross excitedly throwing the door open and launching himself out to stretch his legs he probably would have sat there until someone came to get him. He grabs his backpack and heads after his friends, wincing slightly as the blood returns to the lower half of his body.  

Red rocks and dusty shrubs that are barely holding on stare at him as he passes. It wasn’t what came to mind when he thought “hot spring”, but he’s not sure exactly what he _was_ expecting to find in the middle of Utah. He supposes it’s pretty in its own right, certainly more visually appealing than the crowded streets of LA.

The front office looks more suited to be part of the ghost town; it’s almost as if no one’s been here in years. Of course that isn’t true, it doesn’t seem like a popular tourist attraction but there are at least a few other cars parked. Dan’s sure that not all of them belong to the staff.  The time weathered steps creak under his weight and the door swings open with no more than a gentle push, as if it’s more a decoration than an actual safety measure.

The inside of the building isn’t much nicer than the outside. The unmistakable scent of mildew wafts through the air, making him wrinkle his nose. He finds his friends already at the front counter. The man standing behind it seems to match the state of the establishment, deep wrinkles and tired eyes pinning them in a cold, harsh, glare.

“You folks will be in cabin twelve, just go about a quarter mile up the road there and take a right” he explains, sounding about as interested in them as he might be in a small bug on the bottom of his shoe. He hands them a ring with three keys on it. “Big one is for the cabin, the other two are for the showers” he explains, turning back to his paper without another word. Arin takes the key ring, clearly uncomfortable. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but seems to think better of it. Shrugging, he turns, waving his friends out.

Dan catches one last glimpse of the man before following, catching up to Suzy and throwing an arm around her shoulders affectionately. She smiles up at him, reaching around his waist to give him a little squeeze.  Ross and Arin walk ahead of them, arguing loudly about something. Transformers maybe? Dan can’t tell, they may as well be speaking another language. He’s content to just walk in silence, listening to his friends bicker and observing the sparse scenery.

The sun is just starting to dip into the horizon, colouring the sky different shades of orange and pink. Crickets are starting to come out, chirping quietly from the roadside. Suzy leans against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He ruffles her hair fondly. For the first time in a while, Dan feels peaceful.

Ross and Arin make it to the cabin several minutes ahead of them, too busy yelling about robots to take in the evening. By the time find the rental cabin, Arin and Ross have already dumped their bags on the floor. It seems like a fairly standard rental cabin, it’s clean enough, certainly a far cry from the decrepit state of the front office.  A few paintings that look like they’d been picked up at a Home Sense hang over a modest fireplace. It’s nice enough; it isn’t as if Dan’s shitty dorm room is expertly decorated. The closest he and Ross get to decor are broken game controllers and dirty bongs, maybe picking their socks up off the floor if they feel particularly motivated.

Arin settles on the bottom of one of the two small bunk beds, presumably trying to figure out how he’s  going to fit both himself and Suzy on the relatively tiny mattress. Dan dumps his bag on the bottom bunk of the other bed, he moves too much in his sleep to trust himself not to fall off the top and break his neck in the middle of the night.

“We should have a fire” Suzy suggests after they’re unpacked, plopping herself down on the shag rug in front of the fireplace. “Someone should go get wood, they probably sell it at the front” she continues, emphasising “someone” to let everyone know that person will not be her. Ross flops down next to her, face first into the carpet. He mumbles something no one could make out, but that’s probably something akin to “not it”.

Arin grunts, punching Dan in the shoulder lightly. “Guess it’s up to us strong young men to rescue the fair young maidens” he jokes, walking over to plant a quick kiss on the top of Suzy’s head before heading to the door.

 “C’mon man, let’s go be lumberjacks”.

Dan rolls his eyes, but follows . “I don’t think it counts if you’re using a credit card instead of an axe”.

“Be back in a bit” Arin calls to the others, slamming the door behind them. He grins at his friend, tossing the hair out of his face. “You ready to carry my heavy wood buddy?”

Dan snorts as Arin laughs at his own dumb joke. At least he can make himself crack up.

“So stupid” he mumbles affectionately, bumping him with his shoulder. They retrace the path they’d just taken, picking up twigs and small branches for kindling along the way. There isn’t much in the way of greenery it seems, so most of the twigs come from the weird spiky bushes that seem to be the only thing resilient enough to grow. The thorns dig into Dan’s side as he walks, but he can ignore it for the most part.

The man behind the counter seems genuinely upset to see them back so soon, but he makes no move to speak to them. Arin heads to the back corner where logs have been piled haphazardly, picking out ones that would actually fit in the small fireplace. Dan wanders around, examining the selection of expired junk food and road maps. Why were they selling copies of the Book of Mormon? He supposes that if you wanted something to remind you that you’d been to Utah, it would do the trick. He briefly considers buying one before Arin snaps him out of it by tapping him on the shoulder, holding up the logs and a pack of frozen hot dogs. Dan grins, grabbing a couple bags of off-brand chips and some squished buns off the shelves before following him up to the counter.

The man barely spares them a grumble as he rings them up, but soon they’re well stocked with firewood and a plastic bag of what only children and broke college students such as themselves could consider an exciting dinner. Dan lets Arin carry the heavy stuff, but takes the twigs and food. The other man rolls his eyes, clearly not under the impression that it’s a fair distribution of work, but doesn’t comment.

They’re about halfway back before Arin speaks.                   

“So uh, sorry about the thing with Suzy. In the car” He averts eye contact, seemingly embarrassed.

“S’fine man” Dan dismisses. “She probably would have figured it out anyway, not like I’m planning on doing anything about it anyway.”

Arin nods, biting his lip. “I mean, maybe you should dude, you don’t know that he’d be opposed to some sweet roommate on roommate action”. 

“You know why that’s a bad idea”

“Not really”

“Ross is my friend, Arin”

“Suzy is _my_ friend” He shoots back. Clearly he isn’t going to let up.

“Dude, I thought you agreed with me on this.”

Arin shrugs, kicking up dirt as he walks. “I’m just saying man, sometimes you gotta take chances and all that shit”

Dan grumbles something in response, but he knows there’s nothing he can say to get Arin off his back. Not for the first time that day, he makes a mental note to never tell anyone about his feelings ever again.

They find their friends exactly where they’d left them, not having moved an inch. Despite the naps they’d both taken in the car, they seem pretty wiped out.  Dan shuffles in behind Arin, dumping himself next to Suzy. He holds up the bag of food, dropping it in front of her. She takes a quick peek, looking up at him with a smile.

“Aw, you’re such a provider Dan”

Arin snorts, squeezing between her and Ross. “Hey man, I bought it. He just carried it so he didn’t have to do any actual work”.

“C’mon dude, don’t out me to the pretty lady” Dan shoots back, nudging the half-asleep pile of Ross with his foot. He whines, but sits up, leaning on Arin’s shoulder as if he can’t so much as be bothered to exert the strength to remain vertical.

It take them longer than they’d like to admit to get the fire going, but once they do it seems fairly respectable. Suzy digs a couple of metal campfire sticks out of her bag. They have to share since she only has two, but eventually everyone gets fed. (Dan and Ross were supposed to bring their own, which they had, of course, forgotten the second they’d begun packing).

It doesn’t take long for the sun to disappear from the sky, the only light in the cabin coming from the dying flames. Suzy’s fallen asleep in Arin’s lap, and he looks like he might follow suit soon. Dan hums softly to himself, cooking the last hot dog over the fire. He isn’t really hungry but they can’t really store it in the car, even with all the preservatives, it probably wouldn’t be food safe.

“We should go camping”

The voice startles Dan, the room having settled into a comfortable silence long ago. He glances at the source-Ross, who’s cramming handfuls of chips into his mouth as he speaks.

“Used to go camping every summer before I moved here. Kinda miss it, I think I probably brought my tent and shit in the move” he continues, finishing off the bag with one more gross, mushy mouthful.

“Isn’t this kind of camping?” Dan points out. They do have a fire, and he has a sneaking suspicion that the bunk beds aren’t going to be much better than sleeping on the floor. Ross rolls his eyes.

“Camping requires you to be outside, I’m pretty sure” Ross replies flatly. Dan shrugs, balling up the empty chip bag and tossing it into Arin’s suitcase. That’s probably better than leaving it on the floor right?

“Well, if you want, I can lock you outside when you go to shower in the morning”

“Thanks for the offer; I’ll have to get back to you on that man”

“Anytime dude, that’s what friends are for.” Dan grins, hauling himself up. He nudges Suzy, waking her with a start. She grumbles up at him, clearly not thrilled to be awake.

“C’mon, we should sleep in the actual beds that have been so graciously provided”

There isn’t any real struggle to get everyone into bed, they’re all so tired that even a plastic mattress sounds better than just about anything else. The only real drama comes from Arin and Suzy trying to squeeze themselves into the tiny space next to each other. They look like they’re going to fall out of the bed at any given second, but they seem happy. Dan’s never seen anyone fall asleep so quickly, maybe there was something to the whole “sleeping next to someone you love” thing.

Despite not having anyone else trying to share the bed with him, Dan realizes quickly that the bed is still going to be much too small for him. His feet hang over the edge if he tries to stretch out, so he resorts to curling into a ball. Not his go-to sleeping position, but still probably better than crashing in the back of his Toyota, which he knows from experience would fuck up his back for weeks, even if it weren’t packed full luggage.

He can hear Ross rustling on the bunk above him, as if he can’t get comfortable either. There weren’t crickets chirping outside, no wind or tree branches bumping against the windows, just Arin’s soft snoring and the crinkle of plastic bedspreads to lull him to sleep. In a few minutes however, by no small miracle, he manages to drift away into slumber.

\----

He awakes to someone shaking him. His eyes flutter open and he’s met with a face not four inches from his. He’s about to shout, but the assailant slaps a hand over his mouth before he gets the chance. As his eyes adjust to the dark, he realizes that the figure hovering over him is Ross.

“Shut up, I don’t want to wake up Arin and Suzy” He whispers, removing his hand.

 Why was Ross waking him up in the middle of the night, but not the others? He indulges in letting his mind run wild for a brief moment. Ross tugs on his shoulder, shaking him back into the moment. “Get up, I want to go to the springs” He mumbles, and Dan could almost hear the mischievous smirk in his voice. He frowns. Normally he would argue against upsetting Suzy, she’s his friend after all and she’s right to say they couldn’t afford getting fined for getting caught. Dan hasn’t received a pay check worth more than a couple hundred dollars in months, and he knows the others are in a similar boat.

To his surprise, Ross leans even closer, his lips brushing Dan’s ear. His heart flies to his throat.  

“They won’t find out, just come with me okay? Please?”

Dan is only so strong, only so much could be expected of him. He knows it’s probably a bad idea but, Ross is so close, asking him so nicely. A man only has so much self control.

He nods somewhat reluctantly before slipping out from under the sheets and following the other man to the exit. He feels like a teenager again, sneaking out of the house in the dead of night trying not to wake up his parents. His friends will forgive him, he decides.

The air is cool, much more so than he expected. His tee-shirt is much too thin to stop the wind from blowing right through him, and it wasn’t as if his boxers were going to be much help in keeping him warm. He shivers involuntarily, deeply regretting not taking some kind of jacket with him. Ross, as always, seems unaffected. It probably didn’t hurt that he’d had the foresight to toss on his bunnyhug before going outside. Dan has no idea where they’re headed, only really knowing the path to the grumpy receptionist and back, but Ross seems to know what he’s doing, or at least is doing a very good job at pretending.

“There’s a spot right over the hill” Ross informs him. When had he had time to scope it out?

They use the flashlight on Ross’s phone to find their way up, it doesn’t really seem safe to stumble blindly around sharp rocks. Dan feels a little silly, hiking up the hill in his underwear. If anyone caught them, he might be more upset about the state he’s in than having to pay a fine.

The hot spring isn’t what Dan expected. Granted, he hasn’t been to any springs before, but he imagined them as clear water running into pools between rocks--something very elegant and inviting. The spring here appears to be a repurposed bathtub, wide enough for three or four people, but certainly lacking for appeal. It’s dark, but even with the glare of Ross’s phone pointed directly at it, the water looks like it’s full of soap scum, cloudy enough that he couldn’t see the bottom.

“Are we really getting into that”

Ross shrugs in response. “Guess so, I didn’t hike up here to stand around freezing my balls off”

Dan hesitates, not sure if he really wants to bathe it that. It’s probably fine, they’re charging people sixty bucks a pop for it after all. Ross strips off his shirt and drops his cell on the pile so he might have a hope in hell of finding it later. Even though the only thing illuminating them is the moonlight, Dan still feels obligated to look away and give Ross some privacy.

A fat load of good being polite did for him, as next thing he knows a pair of boxers is being hurled at him, hitting him squarely in the face. Dan sputters, batting them away frantically. Ross laughs easily, delighted as ever by his suffering. Dan realizes, perhaps a moment too late, that if his roommate’s underwear has been tossed at his head, he doesn’t intend to wear it into the pool.

“Woah dude, I didn’t grab a swimsuit or anything” He stammers, not realizing Ross hadn’t been planning on jumping into the spring in his clothing.

“Neither did I” Ross replies easily. Dan feels as if he might have a heart attack and drop dead right then and there, in his boxers by a makeshift hot spring in The Middle of Nowhere, Utah.

“Oh”

“I’m not gonna look at your tiny peen dude, just get in the water”

Dan laughs nervously, taking in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm himself down. Okay, yeah, totally. This wasn’t a big deal, they lived together, they’d been naked in the same house lots of times. This was kind of like that, just without the separate rooms or any semblance of privacy. He could hear Ross easing himself into the water, but can’t quite summon the courage to look up.

He’s painfully aware he’s been standing frozen for far too long, a jumble of thoughts sprinting through his brain. Steeling himself, he begins to strip down, keeping his motions as mechanical and un-sexy as he’s capable of.  The cool night air hits his exposed skin, making the murky tub suddenly more appealing. He manages to summon the courage to look up finally. He finds Ross staring directly at him, one eyebrow cocked. Dan covers his junk with his hands to the best of his ability.

“Not that I’m not enjoying the show, but are you done being a drama queen?”

“Shut up” Dan hisses back harshly. He feels like he’s going to explode into a million little pieces. Ross staring him down doesn’t do much to make him feel more comfortable. The sparse whispers of light are enough to make out his trademarked shit eating grin. Asshole. He slips into the water quickly, eager for anything that could possibly make him feel a little less exposed.

Soon they’re both seated in the warm water, and Dan has to admit it’s a lot nicer than he’d given it credit for. The heat laps at aching muscles he wasn’t aware had been sore, and he feels like he might just melt into the water.

The two men are seated as far apart from each other as is possible, but their legs still brush on occasion, making Dan stammer out and apology and making Ross laugh at the other’s embarrassment. All things considered, Ross seems to think that being naked in a hot tub inches away from another man isn’t much of a big deal at all, heavily contrasting the ball of tension that Dan had become. They sit in silence for a while, the eerie quiet of the campsite not offering much to fill the lapse in conversation.

“Thanks” Ross speaks up “For inviting me, I mean. It’s cool I guess, to see more than just downtown California”

Dan smiles, a useless gesture given that Ross can’t see him. “Hey man, no problem. I needed a plus one anyway, and it’s not like Kati was going to come with me”

 “Glad to know I was your second choice”

Dan kicks Ross to the best of his ability, the water sloshing over the sides and his foot barely grazing Ross’s shin. “Shut up, you know I didn’t mean it like that”.

“I know. She wouldn’t have been your date if you paid her” Ross snickers, the rare moment of softness gone once more.

“You’re my date now, are you?” Dan deadpans. Ross scoots closer to him, close enough that he can feel the heat coming off his skin and his hand brushes Ross’s side. He retracts it quickly, but Dan feels his heart speed up as they make contact. He’s suddenly grateful that it’s so dark, he’s sure his face is turning beet red. The other man whips his hair as dramatically as was possible for someone with about an inch of the stuff.

“I could be”

“Shut up dude” Dan laughs, giving Ross a gentle shove.

“You don’t think everyone’s gonna be jealous when you show up at the wedding with a hot piece of ass like me? If anything I’m doing _you_ a favour”

“You’re not a nice Jewish boy Ross, if anything you’ll give my grandmother a heart attack”

“I can pretend”

 “Don’t think you’re gonna fool em’ buddy” He laughs.  Dan’s not sure when Ross got so close, their shoulders are almost touching. He’s keenly aware of their current state, naked as they day they were born. He shifts uncomfortably, but Ross doesn’t seem to notice, nudging his shoulder playfully with his own.

“If I were a nice Jewish boy would you let me be your date?”

Dan rolls his eyes, the gesture is lost in the dark but he’s sure Ross can tell by the tone of his voice. “Sure man, stop eating pork and learn how to play dreidel and we’ll talk.”

Ross seems satisfied with this, but he doesn’t move, just sits there, almost leaning on him. Dan smiles fondly, ruffling his hair and getting it soaking wet in the process. Ross whines in complaint, but Dan swears he can almost make out a smile. They sit there in comfortable silence for a bit, looking at the moon and enjoying the warm water. Ross hums happily to himself, and Dan’s heart just might burst from how sweet it is. He almost forgets that Ross is completely naked and dangerously close to him. Almost.

Of course, the fact still catches up with him, and for all that he’d like to somewhat guiltily enjoy the closeness, the rest of his body seems to be enjoying it a little too much. He should move away before he gets any stupid ideas. He’s not keen on the idea of getting a half chub in front the boy he’s so desperately trying not to have a crush on. He tries to scooch away quietly.

To his surprise Ross grabs his hand before he can escape. He looks up in alarm, but the other man is looking away, seemingly focused on something in the distance. Dan pulls again but Ross’s grip just tightens, tugging him closer.

“Hey man, you’ve kind of got me trapped here” Dan laughs nervously, anxiety beginning to build somewhere deep down. Ross releases his hand, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s still looking away.

“Sorry” he murmurs. It’s strange and soft and out of character. If Dan didn’t know any better, he’d say Ross sounded almost disappointed.

“Getting attached to my hot wet naked body?” Dan jokes. It’s a dumb thing to say. He wants to punch himself right in the fucking face, but he can’t help it. Humour is the only way he can think to cover the awkwardness of the situation. Ross doesn’t respond and really, Dan doesn’t blame him. What do you say to something like that?

He moves a couple feet away, far enough that he and his boner have plenty of room to move around without touching Ross. Ross has his arms folded over the side of the tub, body twisted so he’s facing opposite Dan. It doesn’t feel like he’s ignoring him, but Dan can’t help but feel like he did something wrong anyway.

“Why’d you want to come out here anyway?”

 It’s the only thing he can think to say, and though it’s obvious that he’s only asking to dispel the tension he created, Ross takes mercy on him and responds.

“Just wanted to, I guess. I mean, we’re here anyway, we might as well get the most out of it.” He shrugs, turning back around to look at Dan, or at least, what little he can make out of him. “It kinda feels like we’re teenagers right? Sneaking out in the middle of the night to skinny dip and shit. Thought it’d be fun”

Ross is right, Dan does feel like a teenager again, though it’s not just from sneaking out without his parents’ permission. There’s something about the way that Ross is acting that’s throwing him back to when he was sixteen, when he had no idea how to talk to people about anything deeper than a DnD campaign. He’s trying to stammer out a reply, something to keep this forced conversation going, but apparently he’s quiet for too long, because Ross lets out a sigh, a mix of annoyance and disappointment clear in the tone.

“Look dude, if you want to go back or whatever, you can.”

“I don’t want to go back.” Dan says a little too quickly.

“You’re kind of acting like you do.”

“I know, I’m sorry man I’m just...” he bites his lip, trying to find a way to explain away his behaviour. Ross moves to side, into the moonlight, and for the first time Dan can make out his face. He doesn’t look angry like he expects him to, instead he looks confused, almost sad. Dan’s heart clenches, he feels like shit for ruining what was otherwise a nice moment. Ross studies him carefully, and he must look as distressed as he feels, because Ross’s expression morphs to one resembling pity.

“Are you okay Dan?” He asks, and it’s sincere. He’s not teasing him, he’s actually concerned. Dan’s first instinct is to crack a joke, but he knows better, or at least he should by now, so he swallows the urge and forces himself to be genuine for once.

“Yeah. I’m okay it’s just- I’m just feeling weird tonight. It’s not your fault.” And it’s not a lie. Ross furrows his eyebrows together, considering Dan’s words for a moment.

“Come here” He says quietly, so quietly that Dan is thrown off guard for a moment. He obeys the request though, his body moving almost mechanically until he’s seated by Ross once more, careful not to touch him, but close enough that he can make out the blue of his eyes. Not for the first time that night, Ross surprises him by grabbing his hand. He can feel his heart beating fast, can feel it pounding in his ears. He forces himself to freeze, afraid to move even an inch.

Ross winds his fingers into Dan’s. It’s awkward, the angle isn’t right and his fingers are bent back much too far to be comfortable, but he doesn’t pull away, and he’s hoping Ross won’t either. His breath catches when he feels a hand on the back of his neck, feels himself being tugged closer. It feels like it takes an eternity, but eventually, Ross pulls him into him, and they connect.

The kiss is clumsy, lips crashing together as if they don’t really know what they’re supposed to be doing. The strange bitter taste of the spring water is the most overpowering sensation. Something should snap inside him, he should pull Ross flush against him and kiss him until neither of them can breathe. He wants to, but he doesn’t. His hands remain firmly at his sides, not daring to venture upwards. He lets out a breathy sight, and he can feel Ross smile into the kiss. It only lasts a moment longer before the hand on his neck is gone, and Ross pulls away.  He keeps holding his hand. In that moment, it doesn’t feel like he’ll ever let go.

Ross studies his face. He’s not sure what he’s looking for, or what he’ll find. Dan’s eyes are wide, mouth hanging open just slightly. He can’t say anything, can’t move, can’t fully process what just happened. Whatever Ross finds in his expression, it seems to satisfy him, and he smiles softly. For a moment, Dan thinks he’s going to kiss him again.

He doesn’t, in fact, he moves away. The sudden loss of contact makes Dan’s heart ache, but he’s not brave enough to reach out and pull him back, not yet.

“We should head back” Ross mutters. Dan just nods, he doesn’t know how else to respond. He looks away politely as Ross hauls himself out of the spring, listens for the sound of a zipper before he gets out himself. Ross tosses him his bunnyhug and slaps him on the back, not affording him the same courtesy of pseudo-privacy. The hoodie is clearly damp, and Dan realizes Ross must have used it as a towel. He dries himself off to the best of his ability and hastily pulls his pyjamas back on. 

They don’t say a word to each other as they make the return hike. He’s not sure what he would say anyway. He’s not sure what he wants Ross to say.

He hangs Ross’s sweater on their shared bedpost before he wriggles back into bed, hoping now more than ever that he’s quiet enough not to wake anyone up. Ross mumbles something from the top bunk that he can’t quite make out just before he drifts off for the second time that night.

\----

Cold.

Wet.

Dan wakes up confused, why is it so dark? Who’s yelling? He realized there’s something covering his face. It smells like mildew. He struggles into a sitting position, squinting at the light as the wet clump slides off his face.

He’s greeted by a very upset looking Suzy.

Oh.

He looks down, and sure enough, the wet clump reveals itself to be the bunnyhug they’d used to dry themselves off last night.

“Suzy, before you get angry-“

She silences him with a look. He knows better than to talk over her, instead he sits attentively, bracing himself for whatever biting words she’s going to throw at him. To his surprise, it isn’t her voice that he hears.

“We didn’t get caught Suze, it’s not a big deal” Ross yells. How long have they been arguing, is Dan that heavy of a sleeper?

“But you _could_ have, do you just not give a shit about the rest of us?” She hisses back. Ross grunts indignantly, and Dan can tell he’s rolling his eyes.

“It’s not like I don’t-“ He pauses, as if he’s not really sure what he’s going to say. “I just- Fuck, I’m sorry okay? You weren’t supposed to find out.” He manages, and it’s almost as if there’s a real apology buried somewhere in there, almost. Suzy shakes her head, clearly more enraged by Ross’s response than anything.

As the two trade hostile remarks, Dan remains quiet. He should probably defend Ross, tell Suzy that he had just as much to do with it, but seeing her upset makes him feel like shit, and all he really wants to do is cry and apologize, even though what they did chalks up to a relatively small transgression (at least in his mind). He makes eye contact with Arin, who’s sitting quietly on the other bed, folding up his clothes from yesterday and placing them neatly into his overnight bag. Arin’s looking at Dan intently, as if he’s trying to figure something out. It makes Dan feel uneasy. After a couple moments, Arin shrugs and stands up, wrapping an arm around Suzy’s waist.

“Hey, we should get going soon. You can argue in the car.” He whispers, loudly enough that Dan can hear, but he doubts Ross does. Suzy sighs, clearly still upset, but she knows he’s probably right. They can’t afford to lose too much time if they want to have a day between travel and the wedding.

“I’m sorry, Suzy” Dan mumbles. She jumps a little at the sound of his voice, as if she’d forgotten he was there. She studies him for a moment, but she doesn’t look angry, just sad. She takes a deep breath, and the smallest whisper of a smile creeps onto her face.

“I know Dan, it’s- you’re right, it’s not that big of a deal. I just wish you didn’t go behind my back”

Dan’s shocked by how easily Suzy accepts his apology, but he isn’t going to depute it. She’s already turned back to her packing by the time he manages to struggle out of bed, but she still spares him a small smile and a little squeeze on the shoulder when he passes by to get dressed.

They repack their bags haphazardly, not really in the mood to fold their clothing before jamming them into their backpacks. Ross and Suzy are mumbling quietly to each other, probably apologizing or at least making up, but Dan isn’t paying enough attention to tell what they’re saying. His mind is still racing from last night, from the kiss, but Ross doesn’t seem to be bothered, puttering around with the usual spring in his step. He’s doesn’t even seem uncomfortable with Dan, and Dan’s grateful for that, he really is, but he’s still skittish. He’s careful not to touch Ross, leaning away just in time to avoid brushing him as he walks by.

He’s going to have to deal with it at some point, hell, he’s going to have to deal with it within the next couple days if he doesn’t want to be stepping around someone who’s supposed to be his guest at the wedding, but he doesn’t know where to start. Ross doesn’t seem upset, Dan’s sure he isn’t, and neither is Dan for that matter, he really isn’t upset, hell; if the circumstances were different he’d be ecstatic. But there’s this twist in his gut, this fear that hasn’t dissipated since last night. He doesn’t know what to call it, but he knows he wants it to go away.

Dan drives this time, and even though it means he can’t doze off or dick around on his phone, it’s nice. He remembers when he first got his license and got to drive his own car, how it made him feel free despite still having to be home by ten. He’s not sure when it became a chore, but it’s nice now. It takes his mind off things, and he can just focus on the road.

He gets to pick the music again, and while there are a couple teasing words thrown at him when he pops in the Rush CD he plays on repeat, no one really seems to mind. Dan actually checks Suzy’s itinerary before he pulls out of the parking lot, and even though she doesn’t say it, she seems pleased that her hard work isn’t going unappreciated.

The hot springs fade away to nothing in the rear view mirror as he pulls onto the open road. Suzy and Ross make idle conversation in the backseat, but Arin is quiet, not joking around with Dan like he usually would be. He’s not much in the mood to talk anyway but, for some reason the silence makes him uneasy. He glances his way and Arin smiles, patting Dan’s leg reassuringly. It’s comforting, but he knows they’ll have to talk later anyway. Arin knows something is up, and he’s not the kind of person to ignore that kind of thing.

They stop at the side of the road after about a half hour. Ross has been promised giant grain bins painted to look like soda cans, and they don’t want to disappoint him. The pictures they take aren’t very good- it’s hard to get the roadside attraction due to sheer size, but everyone seems satisfied. Suzy even takes a selfie with him in front of them. It makes Dan feel a little better, even if he looks awful in it. They don’t bother to stop for gas, Dan doesn’t really feel like paying to fill up yet. He figures they should be able to make it to Colorado on what’s already in the tank. 

They pull over a couple more times before they hit the border, stopping to take pictures in front of whatever tacky statue the small town they’re passing claims is their town pride. He’s getting a little anxious, having to pull over every forty minutes, but Ross is excited, so he indulges him. They stop at one of the diners to grab food. He’s not sure if it’s really lunch since it’s only ten, but a full stomach and a hot cup of coffee isn’t something he can complain about.

They’re pretty quiet as they eat their breakfasts. Things have cooled down from earlier of course, but there’s still a subtle underlying tension behind their interactions. Dan keeps making eye contact with Ross accidentally. He glances down quickly, breath catching for a second, but he knows Ross notices that he’s acting weird. How could he not?

He thinks back to the kiss, back to the way Ross’s lips felt, the feeling of hair slipping through his fingers. It makes his heart beat faster. He doesn’t know exactly what happened last night, what compelled Ross to kiss him or if Ross feels the same way about it, but he knows he wants nothing more than for it to happen again.

He catches Arin staring at him again, and he notices that he’s been buttering the same piece of toast for several minutes.

It’s noon by the time they cross the border, much later than anticipated. They’re certainly off Suzy’s schedule, though she doesn’t comment. A surprisingly well maintained sign beckons them to the next spot Suzy’s planned for them.

“Welcome to Colorado National Monument” Arin reads in his golden voice, as if he’s suddenly shifted into their tour guide. Ross perks up from the backseat, rolling down his window so he can get a better look at the scenery.

According to the fact sheet that Suzy’s printed out for them (yes, Suzy wrote them a fact sheet. It’s as endearing as it is strikingly nerdy) the drive is around 23 miles. They’re already behind schedule, so there’s no way they’re going to do the whole thing, but he figures they can at least afford to spend a little time sightseeing.

The horizon seems to go on forever, tall pillars of red stone painting the scenery. He has to admit, it’s kind of breathtaking. Suzy and Arin switch off as guide, reading from the thick binder and trying to point out the names of the different rock formations. It’s mostly for Ross’s benefit, most things on this trip have been, but Dan still listens and tries to absorb the somewhat useless facts his friends parrot off.

“Dude, pull over, I want to take a picture” Ross calls from the backseat. Dan obeys. They should probably turn around soon anyway, they may as well get out and enjoy the scenery on foot before they do.  They filter out of the car, taking in the fresh air.

“It’s called “Kissing Couple”” Suzy points to one of the formations in the distance. 

Of course it is.

He settles on a conveniently sized rock, taking a moment to admire the scenery. He likes being outside, always feels better in the fresh air. He makes a mental note to get out more, maybe he should start going for walks in between Morrowind sessions. He enjoys the moment for a couple seconds before Arin slides in next to him, nudging him gently.

Dan sighs and shakes his head. Arin is watching him expectantly, wanting an explanation for last night. Dan not sure he can give him one, hell, he’s not sure he can explain what happened to himself. He owes it to Arin to try though.

“Ross kissed me last night”

“He kissed you, or you kissed him?” Arin doesn’t miss a beat, as if that’s what he was expecting Dan to say. Maybe it was.

“I mean, we kissed each other. He initiated it”

“Shit dude, that’s awesome, grats!” He raises his hand for a high five, but Dan shakes his head.

“No man it was weird. It didn’t feel- I think I fucked something up” He explains, and Arin’s face falls a little. He wraps an arm around Dan’s shoulders, giving him a little squeeze.

“What do you mean by fucked up, did you spit in his mouth or something?”

Dan scoffs, leaning into his friend. It’s nice, Arin is warm and solid. Dan needs something solid right now.

“No man I just, I was acting weird I guess, and it was almost like he did it out of pity” He shakes his head, hair falling into his face. “It felt weird, not how I wanted it to, I guess”

Arin sighs, petting Dan’s hair in an attempt at comfort. It helps a little.

“This sucks man” Dan complains, his voice coming out smaller than he expected.

“I know” Arin rests his head on Dan’s. “It sucks, and it shouldn’t. You have to talk to Ross, try to make it suck less.”

Dan knows. He knows he should talk to him, and he knows that Arin was going to tell him that. It doesn’t make the twist of anxiety in his gut any less unpleasant.

“What if he doesn’t want to talk?”

“He will” Arin assures him “Or at least, he’ll be willing to. He’s your friend Dan, even if something weird happened between the two of you, you’re close enough that you can work it out”

Dan sincerely hopes Arin is right. He doesn’t want to lose Ross as a friend, doesn’t want to get back home and have things be weird between them because of something that happened in a hot spring in the middle of the night when he was acting stupid.

“It’ll be okay”

Dan turns to pull Arin into a hug. It would probably be uncomfortable if it were anyone else, but Arin just hugs him back, rubbing little circles on his back and reassuring him that things will work out. He feels a little better, having talked about it.

“Thanks man” He mumbles

“No problem” Arin smiles back. “Always here for my buddy, we can’t all be as skilled in the ways of love as yours truly”. Dan laughs, grateful that Arin’s like him in his habit of cracking jokes whenever he can to try to keep the mood light. 

Thunder cracks through the sky, startling the both of them. Dark grey clouds have blocked out the sky—when did those get there? In any case, it’s fairly clear that it’s time to leave. Arin gives him one last squeeze before they rush to the car. Dan hops back in the driver’s seat, but Arin goes for the back, joining Suzy. Dan knows what he’s doing, it’s not fucking subtle, but he doesn’t say anything as Ross slides into the passenger’s seat.

They get about an hour down the road before Dan realizes he didn’t put on music, too lost in his own thoughts to realize that he’d been driving in silence. Or at least, what relative silence they’re afforded in the middle of a thunderstorm. If his mind weren’t elsewhere, he’d probably actually be pretty stressed out trying to drive through the heavy rain. He glances into the backseat and sees that Arin and Suzy are both wearing their headphones; at least he knows why no one’s complained yet. Suzy’s head is resting on Arin’s shoulder, eyes shut tightly. He’s not sure if she’s sleeping or just really into her audiobook, but it’s cute in any case.

“You want to put something on?”

Ross is curled into a ball, sweatpants falling down low enough that his boxers are stuck doing most of the heavy lifting in keeping him clothed. His hair damp and wild from the rain, and he’s wearing the hoodie they used to dry off yesterday. He’s been staring out the window for the past hour, Dan suspects he’s trying to commit every inch of the scenery to memory. He tears his gaze away for a moment to glance at him.

“I thought the rain was kind of nice” He shrugs

“The windshield wipers aren’t driving you batty?”

“No”

It’s a short exchange, but it’s the first actual conversation he’s had with Ross since last night. And it makes him feel better, as if they might still be friends, like Ross isn’t just pretending everything is fine because they have to be trapped in a car together for the next 24 hours. For the first time all day, he feels hopeful.

He glances into the backseat. Arin and Suzy are checked out, Dan isn’t nearly as interesting as they are to each other. He takes a deep breath, locking his eyes on the road.

“So-“ He trails off. He has no idea how to bring this up. _Hey man, remember how you got naked and kissed me last night? That was pretty neat, you planning on doing that again?_

“Yeah” Ross sounds as nervous as him. It’s surprising, almost out of character.

“We should probably ah, talk about what happened”

“Probably”

Dan clears his throat. He was kind of hoping Ross would take the reins here. He says the only thing he can think to say. “I’m sorry”.

“Oh” Ross’s voice sounds hurt, and Dan immediately wants to backtrack.

“Not that- I’m not sorry about the-“ He grips the steering wheel harder, knuckles turning white. Why did he lose the ability to string a fucking sentence together around Ross. He takes a deep breath, restarting. “I’m sorry I’ve been acting weird. It doesn’t have to be a big deal”.

Ross considers this, his eyebrows knitting together.

“Do you want it to be a big deal?”

Dan’s mouth goes dry. This wasn’t how he’d envisioned confessing his feelings to Ross, haggard from sleep deprivation and wearing the same clothing as yesterday, with Arin and Suzy less than two feet away. It’s not the most romantic scene, not what Dan would have chosen.

“I don’t know” he says, and it’s the honest truth, but it’s an unsatisfying answer. “I- I liked it. It doesn’t have to happen again, I mean unless you-“ he coughs, too embarrassed to finish the thought.

“I liked it too” Ross replies, so quietly Dan almost doesn’t hear him.

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“Cool”

It’s awkward. So much more than it was earlier, he should have left it alone. He feels like he might throw up. He’s already made it this far though, so he’s asks the question that’s really been bothering him.

“We’re still friends, right?”

“Of course” Ross responds quickly, almost instantly. He sounds sure of himself, more sure than Dan’s felt at any point in the past 24 hours. It feels like a weight has been lifted. Dan breathes a sigh of relief, loosening his grip on the wheel.

“Okay. Good”

“Finding another roommate who actually pays rent would be too much work” Ross jokes. Dan rolls his eyes, but he’s grateful that he’s trying to lighten the mood.

“I knew you only liked me for my ability to work a part-time job”

\--------------

It isn’t long before Dan realizes he needs to buy gas. Like, _really_ needs to buy gas. The gas bar he pulls into looks pretty worn down, but he isn’t much of a stickler for aesthetics if it means they don’t have to call a tow truck because they ran out of fuel halfway through Nebraska.

It’s still raining. He didn’t have the foresight to pack an umbrella of course. Suzy probably did, but he doesn’t want to wake her, so he just lets himself get soaked. The hood of his sweater does little to keep him dry, but he puts it up anyway.

Ross has already run off into the building, muttering something about wanting a coffee and abandoning Dan to try and will the gas the pump quicker so he doesn’t have to stand in the rain. By the time Dan joins him, he’s dripping. Ross doesn’t bother to stifle his giggle at the way his shoes make a sickening “squelch” as he walks.

There’s a small gift shop attached to the standard convenience store. Ross is busying himself with a snow globe featuring the American flag. He pays for his gas quickly before joining the other man. Ross grins and holds the trinket up to him

“Buy this for me”

Dan snorts, shaking his head.

“No way man, that’s the tackiest thing I’ve ever seen”

“I know, that’s why I have to have it”

“You have a wallet of your own” Dan points out. Ross pouts dramatically.

“But it’d be more special if it were a gift” He mutters, putting it back. He holds up a few more trinkets to Dan, each generating a similar reaction. Dan examines the souvenirs with mild interest, mostly just trying to put off returning to the pouring rain. His eyes fall to a kaleidoscope, small enough to be a keychain, but large enough to be a very cumbersome one. He peers through it, looking around at the tessellations made by the rows of junk food and tacky plastic.

He’s about to put it back when Ross comes into the lens, his face distorted just slightly by the mirrors. He’s smiling brightly. Dan twists the end of the toy, and watches as Ross multiplies and explodes into a million different pieces.

It takes his breath away.

Even as he lowers it, Ross remains. He looks like the fucking sun, warm and inviting. Dan feels his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. He knows that he does want the kiss to be a big deal; that he doesn’t want to just stay friends with Ross. In that moment, Dan realizes that somehow, he’s managed to fall in love.

He agrees to buy Ross a smaller version of the flag globe. Even the woman at the till seems surprised that someone is buying it, but it makes Ross happy. He smiles and thanks him, giving Dan’s shoulder a little squeeze. Warmth trickles through his chest, and he can’t help grinning back.

Arin and Suzy have woken up by the time they get back, they’re standing outside the car stretching and walking around like they don’t even notice the rain. Arin gives him a look, and Dan flashes a thumbs up. He’s sure Ross notices the exchange but, he doesn’t really care. Arin grins wide, and he’s sure that if he were closer he’d have slapped him on the back.

“Hey Scuze” He calls, strolling up to the couple

Suzy straightens herself, smiling brightly. It’s a welcome sight, and next thing Dan knows he scooping her soggy form up and twirling her in a little circle while she giggles. Whatever tension had remained between the two of them has dissipated, and he couldn’t be more relived. He sets her down and she gives his forearm a little squeeze, her eyes soft.

“Want a break from driving? If I have to stare at my phone any longer I’m going to go blind” She offers, holding her hand out for Dan’s keys. He certainly isn’t going to turn her down, the light has all but disappeared from the sky once again and he’s not too keen on driving at night. He gladly hands his keys over, flashing her a wide smile.

“You’re the best Scuze”

She laughs softly, waving him off as he gets into the driver’s seat. Arin jogs over to the passenger’s seat and the two share a quick peck on the lips. Dan and Ross throw themselves into the backseat and, with a little adjusting so Dan can actually fit his legs into the space behind Suzy, they’re off.

The stars are just coming out, starting to peak from behind the rainclouds. Suzy’s chosen something soft and instrumental, Dan has no idea what it is but it’s nice. He feels like he could lose himself in this moment.

A head drops onto his chest, and Dan glances down to see Ross smiling softly, eyes trained on the stars just out the window. He curls and arm around Ross’s shoulders, and his heart feels like it’s full of static. It makes him nervous, but it’s kind of nice at the same time. Almost addicting. Ross doesn’t ask him to move it away, so he settles against him, resting his head on Ross’s. They watch the night sky together, the only sound in the car Suzy’s music and the occasional navigation on the part of Arin.

It doesn’t take long before the rainfall lulls them to sleep, seatbelts undone and tangled together.

\---------

It’s their third day of driving, and it’s clearly taken a toll on all of them. Even Ross’s perpetual excitement for the trip is waning; they pass the world’s largest ball of stamps and Ross doesn’t even ask Dan to pull over. They passed into Iowa about an hour ago, at seven in the morning. He doesn’t want to stop for breakfast or gas anymore, just wants to get to the nice warm hotel waiting for them in New York, so he can see his family and not look at his Toyota for as long as possible. It seems the others are in agreement.

They have to make a few stops of course; Arin drinks so much water he has to take a piss every couple hours, but for the most part the last stretch of their trip moves by quickly. Arin, Dan and Suzy take turns driving, swapping whenever the driver’s complaining gets too annoying. Ross won’t take the wheel, he claims to be freaked out of driving on the right instead of the left, but Dan knows it’s just because he wants to sneak naps. He can’t blame him.

The rain is long gone, the heat returning. It’s unpleasant, Dan’s a little stickier than he likes to be, but with the windows rolled down, it’s bearable. The fresh air doesn’t hurt his mood either, they all smell gross at this point and a little air circulation is more than welcome. They don’t bother stopping to get food, partly because they don’t want to waste the time and partly because they’d prefer to shower before having to interact with a stranger. By the end of the day the car is filled with empty fast food bags, and the lingering smell of McDonalds combines with their collective B.O to form a pretty potent mix.

They reach the border just as the sun is setting. Suzy is driving when they do, and they all cheer as they pass the road sign. They still have to get to the city itself, and they have traffic to worry about, but it feels like they’ve arrived.

It takes a couple hours to reach their hotel, but Dan is glad to leave the car in the parking lot. He triple checks that everyone has their luggage before they check in, and he flips the car off as the walk away. Suzy catches him and rolls her eyes, but doesn’t comment. He grins and follows close behind, trying not to think about how they’ll have to do the whole trip again in a few days.

“You look like shit” Ross informs him, nudging him with his sharp elbows.

“Thanks man, you too” He teases back. He’s lying of course, even with dirty food stained clothes and unwashed hair, Dan still thinks Ross looks cute. He always does.

They’re all pretty run down from the trip, and nobody’s really in the mood to provide any high-energy conversation. Arin talks to the woman at the front desk, handing over his credit card and obtaining two room keys. He hands one to Dan, and the other to Suzy.

“Sorry man, you two are bunkmates again, I gotta be with my girl” he states, through he’s smirking at Dan, and it’s pretty obvious he’s not sorry at all. Suzy elbows him in the ribs, laughing at the surprised noise he makes before leading them all to the elevator.

The rooms are right across from each other, which is convenient, seeing as their stuff as gotten mixed into everyone’s bag. Suzy’s the only one who’s actually capable of organization. Dan tries, he really does, but unfortunately his OCD only compels him to count. He didn’t get any of the useful anxieties. What a rip.

It takes them a couple of tries to get the keycard to work properly, but they get in eventually. Dan’s never been happier to see a real bed.

“Hey man, just like home. Basic cable, sheets of dubious cleanliness, and you snoring so loudly I could hear you from any room.” Ross teases, throwing his stuff on the floor and his body onto the bed on the far side of the room. Dan rolls his eyes, setting his bags at the base of the other bed.

“Dibs on the shower” He replies. Ross waves dismissively.

“M’ too tired to shower, she’s all yours buddy. Maybe I’ll do it in the morning”

“You’re gross” Dan calls as he walks into the bathroom. He can’t hear Ross’s reply but he’s sure it’s something rude. The decor in the washroom is almost blinding, everything is so white that he wonders if all their income doesn’t go to buying bleach. 

He’s undressed and under hot water in record time. The shower is short enough that he has to bend down more than he’s like to get his hair wet, but it feels fucking fantastic to wash the thin layer of grime that’s been building away. The closest he’s gotten in the past three days is his brief dip in the hot spring. He thinks back to the cloudy water and shudders, thankful once more for indoor plumbing.

Of course, there’s a lot more to the hot springs than the questionable hygiene. 

He remembers Ross’s fingers brushing his hand, his neck. He can feel Ross’s lips against his again, warm and firm, their bodies less than an inch apart, almost dangerously close.

Fuck.

Next thing Dan knows, he’s got a hand curled around his cock, stroking himself as quick and rough. He curses in frustration, resting his head on the wall. Water makes for terrible lube. Images of Ross’s naked body flash through his mind, his imagination filling in what he didn’t manage to glimpse while they were skinny dipping. He imagines Ross pulling him back in after the kiss, imagines grinding into Ross’s lap, their bodies bare and wet, hands skirting over every available surface, lips on lips, necks, chest.

He can’t stifle the groan that he produces as Ross lifts himself onto the edge of the spring, legs spread wide, beckoning Dan closer. He imagines taking Ross’s cock into his mouth, teasing him until he starts to jerk up despite his best efforts. Imagination-Ross lets out a moan, the kind that Dan can sometimes hear through the thin walls of their apartment when he’s brought someone home for the night.

It only takes a few more strokes before Dan’s coming over his hand, over the wall. The water washes most of it away before he can catch his breath. A wave of guilt washes over him as he releases his now limp dick.  He watches what remains of the mess swirl down the drain, disgusted with himself. He washes his hair as quickly as he can, struggling with the tiny shampoo samples the hotel has provided.

It doesn’t take him too long to dry off, the real challenge is trying to work up the courage to face Ross having just jerked off to the thought of him. He tries to put it out of his mind, wrapping a towel around his waist before creeping out into the main room.

Ross is watching the Cartoon Network, oblivious to Dan’s presence.  He changes into his boxers and ratty tee-shirt facing the wall, much too lazy to go back into the bathroom to pull on clothing. Maybe he’s hoping Ross will catch him naked and want to join in, or something. Whatever he’s hoping for, Ross is much too focused of Steven Universe to notice him.

Dan rolls onto the bed, and instantly feels like he could melt into the mattress. He reminds himself to never take his bed for granted again.

“CN okay?” Ross asks as the show goes to commercial. Dan nods, but he doesn’t even make it to the end of the episode before he’s struggling to stay awake. It’s not much of a fight really, it’s only 8pm but Dan is wiped out. Sleep wins over quickly, and Dan is so far gone that he doesn’t even open his eyes when he feels someone tugging away the blanket he’s laying on and draping it over him carefully.

\------

The sun filters in through the gaps in the curtains. Dan’s eyes open reluctantly, he would have been happy to sleep the day away. He rolls over to check his phone- it’s eight in the morning, a perfectly reasonable time to get up, if a little early. He can hear the shower running the in other room, so he takes his time getting dressed.

It doesn’t take him long to pull on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt, so he decides to unpack while he’s at it. He drags his luggage over to the dresser that the hotel has provided. His rented suit is still on top, he puts it to the side, figuring he should probably hang it up instead of jamming it into the drawers with everything else. Not that it will do much mind you, it’s already wrinkled from the trip over, but it makes him feel better about it.

The chore isn’t enough to occupy him for longer than ten minutes, and by the time he hears the shower shut off he’s halfway through a _Frasier_ rerun. Ross saunters out in nothing but a towel and plops himself next to Dan, still dripping. Dan raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything.

“Frasier” Dan points at the screen. He can’t think of anything else to say, not when Ross is sitting so close to him next to naked. He knows exactly what he’s doing too. Dick. Ross snorts and nods. They watch a couple more minutes until Ross pipes up.

“So” he starts “When are you going to kiss me”

He’s not sure when he tackled Ross to the bed, not sure when he slipped his hand into his damp hair, all he knows is that suddenly their mouths are crashing against each other, desperate and messy. It’s nothing like the first kiss, it’s not tender or sweet like it was then. Dan has no idea what he’s doing with his tongue, but months of sexual tension are unravelling at his fingertips and it feels so, so _right_ to just let himself get lost in Ross.

He feels a hand sneak between his legs and he groans, breaking the kiss for just a moment. Why the hell did he put on all these clothes? He curls his fingers against Ross’s scalp, earning him a breathy sigh.

“Fuck, Dan-“

Ross uses both hands to pull Dan’s face flush to his own, as if he needs Dan like he needs oxygen.

It doesn’t take long before Dan can feel himself straining against his jeans. Ross’s towel has fallen open and it’s clear that he’s in a similar state. Dan’s hands trail down, stopping just shy of Ross’s aching cock. Ross whines, bucking his hips into Dan in a vain search for friction.

“Is this okay?”

“Yeah, fuck just- just touch me already”

Dan laughs softly, pressing kisses into Ross’s neck. He gives Ross’s dick a gentle squeeze, and the other man almost sobs. He’s so hard already, and Dan feels a surge of pride when he realizes that _he’s the one who did this._ He works his way down Ross’s body, leaving a trail of bruises in his wake. Ross’s whimpers and gasps sound better than any song Dan’s ever heard, and if he had more patience he might drag it out just so he could hear more of them.

Ross’s cock is leaking and heavy in Dan’s hand, and it doesn’t take long until Dan is between his thighs, mouthing at the sensitive skin. Ross is watching him with heavy lidded eyes, one hand fisted in Dan’s hair, tugging him towards where he needs him. Dan is happy to oblige.

He doesn’t tease like he did in his fantasy, they’re both too far gone for that, just drags his tongue from base to tip before taking the head into his mouth, savouring the soft moan that escapes Ross’s throat. He isn’t sure what to do with his hands, so he settles them on Ross’s thighs, tracing small circles. The other man seems to appreciate it, whimpering at the contact.

He bobs his head slowly, gagging as he takes a little too much. Ross doesn’t seem to notice, or at least, he doesn’t seem to care, and he bucks his hips, forcing Dan to deep throat him. He gags again, but allows it, embarrassed by how turned on the rough treatment is making him. He tries his best to swirl his tongue down his length, spit and precum escaping him and dribbling down his chin. Ross is panting, making small noises above him. Dan traces his tongue just under the head just so he can hear Ross moan again. The noise he makes goes right to his cock. He can’t help the groan the slips from him as Ross grunts and tightens the grip in his hair. 

“God, _Dan”_ Ross breathes. It’s all of a warning Dan gets before he’s shooting cum down his throat, bucking his hips and moaning loudly enough that he’s sure the next room over can hear. He swallows to the best of his ability, but some dribbles out the side of his mouth, down his chin.

It’s a little gross, but Ross doesn’t seem to care, because soon he’s dragging him up, pulling him by his hair until their faces are level. Dan’s covered in sweat, spit, and jizz, but Ross ignores all of it and kisses him as if his life depends on it. 

“Your turn” Ross mumbles, palming Dan’s neglected cock through his jeans. Dan hisses gratefully, hands flying down to fumble with his zipper. He pulls his pants down to his thighs and Ross slips his hand into Dan’s boxers, finally freeing his dick. He strokes him a couple more times before wriggling out from under Dan, slipping off the bed and onto his knees. Dan pulls himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed with his legs spread wide, eager.

Ross jerks him off quickly, his other hand running along Dan’s thighs. It becomes clear quite quickly that Dan’s already far gone, he’s not going to last.

“Can I come on your face” He asks, almost embarrassed. Ross groans as if he’s the one getting a hand job, and nods eagerly.

“Yeah, fuck, please”

It doesn’t take long, all Ross has to do is flick his tongue over the head of Dan’s cock and suddenly his hips are jerking into the air, shooting ropes of hot sticky fluid and painting Ross’s waiting face. Ross strokes him through his orgasm, only stopping when Dan lets out a broken sob at the overstimulation. He looks up at his lover through ice blue eyes, covered in his release and looking utterly debauched. Dan groans as he watches him drag a finger through the mess, and suck in into his mouth.

He collapses back on the bed, body spent. Ross joins him, cuddling up beside him and smearing the mess on his face onto the sheets. He suddenly feels sorry for the cleaning staff.

They lay quietly for a few moments, tangled together as they try to catch their breath.

“I love you” Dan whispers, his voice shaking. Admitting it feels more intimate than anything they just did, and it scares the shit out of him, but he says it anyway. He has to, or he’s going to burst.

Ross laughs quietly, nuzzling Dan.

“You’re just saying that because I let you jizz on my face” he teases. His tone is gentle though, and Dan smiles. He wraps an arm around the other man, and presses a ginger kiss to his forehead. Ross’s voice is muffled, his face buried in the crook of Dan’s neck, but he mumbles something, and Dan’s sure it sounds just like “I love you too”.

He feels like he could lay there forever, just holding Ross, feeling his breath on his skin. It’s strangely intimate in a way Dan wasn’t expecting. Is this was Arin feels like when he holds Suzy? If so Dan suddenly understands why they’re so lovey in public. Of course, they can’t actually lay like this all day, as nice as it might be. They have to meet their friends, and eventually, Dan’s family. Dan’s heart clenches for a second, realizing he doesn’t know how he’s going to introduce Ross. It’s way too early to call him a boyfriend, isn’t it? But he’s not sure “friends” really encompasses. He shakes his head, that’s a problem for later. He plants a little kiss on Ross’s head, sliding his arm out from under him.

“We should get ready” He murmurs. Ross groans in response, but eventually gets up to clean himself off and pull on some clothes. Dan is waiting on the bed when he re-emerges from the bathroom.

“Took you long enough” Dan teases.

Ross shoots him a glare. “Oh I’m sorry, I should have thought of that before I came all over my own face right after my shower, oh wait- that was you wasn’t it?” Dan snorts, grabbing his backpack and letting Ross lead him out of the room.

They meet their friends in the lobby, just outside of the hotel’s adjoining restaurant. They’re both fixed on their phones, as if they’ve been waiting for a while. Dan feels a little pang of guilt rush through him, but pushes it down. Arin waves them over, seemingly in pretty good mood despite having to wait.

By the time they actually make it to a table, the meal they’re eating can’t really be called breakfast anymore. Even brunch is a bit generous if he’s being perfectly honest, but calling it that makes Dan feel a little better about his late start. Arin keeps making eye contact with him and grinning, even when the waiter comes to take their orders, Arin is staring a Dan as if he found his secret stash of playboys. Dan wants to punch him in the face a little bit, but like, in a friendly way.

“What” Dan whispers, though there’s really no need as Ross and Suzy are too caught up in their own conversation to really notice them. Arin gestures to his neck, raising an eyebrow. Dan furrows his eyebrows, opening the camera app on his phone. A row of deep red hickeys line the left side of his neck, trailing all the way down to his shoulder. How didn’t he notice that earlier? When he looks back up Arin is giving him a thumbs up, a wide smile still plastered across his face.

He slaps Ross’s shoulder, getting his attention.

“What are you, a fucking vampire” He hisses. He can hear Arin and Suzy snickering from the other side of the booth. Ross grins, looking pretty fucking pleased with himself.

“They’re cute, they add colour” He dismisses. Dan suddenly regrets being so careful not to give Ross any of his own.

“I hate you” he mumbles. Ross rolls his eyes, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“No you don’t”

He’s right, of course.

They manage to make it through the rest of their meal without anymore teasing on the part of Arin and Suzy. He’s sure they’re going to give him tons of shit later, but they’re at least polite enough to wait until they’re not in a very public restaurant to do it, and for that he’s thankful. Ross whips out his wallet when it’s time to get the bill, murmuring something about how they’re all lucky to have him as a friend.

 They walk out of the hotel around noon, the sun blinding them for a moment. The city is bustling around them, busy as ever. Suzy is telling them something about the places they’re going to visit before they have to meet up with Dan’s parents, but he isn’t really listening, he’s too focused on Ross.

Dan wants to grab his hand, unable to resist the urge to be close to him, but Ross ducks down before he has the chance. He picks a dandelion from the cracks between the sidewalk, holding it out triumphantly.

“For your dirty hippie aesthetic” He reminds him, tucking it into Dan’s hair when he fails to take it. Dan smiles, circling his arms around Ross’s waist and pulling him close. He meets him in a soft, chaste kiss, not caring that everyone can see them. He’s about to pull away when he feels Ross grip his shirt, pulling him back so their faces are less than an inch apart.

“One more for the road”

 


	2. Epilogue (Always)

The unforgiving bathroom lighting illuminates Dan’s figure, pointing out each tiny flaw in his reflection. He can’t recognize himself in the mirror; the man staring back at him is put together, meticulous. The suit he’s wearing is cheap and probably should have been pressed, and his wild hair is still sticking out from the bun he pulled it into but, he looks nice. It’s strange seeing himself like this, the last time he wore a suit was at his high school graduation. The gentle buzz of nerves in his stomach grows stronger as his phone lights up; a text from his sister.

_“Need your help keeping mom occupied. Hurry up”_

He snorts, dashing off a reply before exiting the room. He figures he’s as ready as he’ll ever be, no point in messing with his hair for another hour.

Ross in sitting on the edge of the bed, grumbling to himself. He holds out a strip of shiny purple cloth to Dan, eyebrows knitting together in frustration.

“Help” He pleads

Dan laughs, taking the tie from Ross and settling next to him. He loops it behind Ross’s neck and starts tying it for him. “I thought you knew how to do this?”

“So did I” Ross grumbles back “Guess it’s been longer than I thought”

Dan rolls his eyes, patting Ross’s chest as he finishes up. Ross tightens the knot so it’s sitting just below his collar, and lets out a little sigh.

“I hate dressing up” He complains “When I get married it’ll be in a tee shirt and jeans”

The comment makes Dan heart skip a beat, though he has no idea why. As much as Ross is complaining, Dan has to admit he cleans up pretty well. He’s wearing a suit almost identical to Dan’s, plain grey vest and black jacket, but it seems to fit him better, compliments him in ways it just doesn’t on Dan. He reaches out to brush a stray hair from Ross’s face, and he’s struck, not for the first time, by how beautiful Ross’s eyes are. He can’t help leaning in for a kiss, brushing their lips together tenderly. Ross smiles.

“Hey” He mumbles, resting his head in the crook of Dan’s neck.

“Hey” Dan replies.

“I love you, you know.” Ross whispers, as if he’s afraid to say it, as if he doesn’t realize what he’s saying until it’s out of him and he can’t take it back. Dan nods, pulling Ross in closer.

“I love you too” He replies.

There’s a knock on the door, it’s Suzy. They’ve got to leave now if they want to be on time. Dan considers ignoring her for a moment, so he can stay here in Ross’s arms, but he decides against it. There will be lots of time for this in the future, or at least, he hopes. He’s not sure what they’re going to do when they get back to LA, not sure what he wants.  All he wants right now is to be with Ross.

Maybe that’s enough.

 He hauls himself up, taking Ross’s hand in his and grinning.

“Ready?”

Ross smiles, squeezing Dan’s hand back.

“Always”


End file.
